Amassment Mod

Animal Crossing

What I like about Animal Crossing: New Leaf so far:

1) The game is so pretty!

2) I like all the things there are to do. The Mayor thing is pretty spiffy. I just got my island unlocked, which I'll be able to visit tomorrow, and I just got my development pass approved, which was a bigger pain than it needed to be.

3) I like my townsfolk.

I've already started corrupting them.

4) I like all the new things you can do to your house. The upgrades and customization. Pictures on the wall!

5) You can donate multiple items to the museum at once! You can get multiple fossils appraised at once!

What I don't like so far:

1) Blathers no longer gives info on the items you donate. :(

2) QR code reader can't be used for 10 days! Balls.

I'm having a lot of fun. :) I named my town Spira (from Final Fantasy X of course) and ran with that theme. Because I don't know what to write NPCs, when I send my villagers letters, I send them Final Fantasy quotes. Here is one:

Dear Scoot:

How many people died today? People die and Yuna dances.


At least it will be interesting when my villagers show visitors letters I've written them. lol
This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

A Better Me

I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately -- emotionally, mentally, and physically.

My no-stress project is going along wonderfully. I've tried really hard to stop sweating the small stuff, and this will sound awful, but my secret to success in this area is not caring. If someone doesn't want to talk to me or see me, why should I care? I figured it out late last week. This has been easier said than done, but I'm doing a really good job. I've had the occasional stomach knots, but I've kept them to myself, thought the situations out, and made myself just not give a shit. The way I see it, there are going to be people in my life who want to spend time with me, and connect emotionally with me, and I'm going to have these awesome relationships without me feeling like I have to force myself on people. The people who have drifted or are drifting just aren't worth me trying to hang on to. If I end up with a bunch of fair weather friends, so be it.

I'm going to get over this insecurity of not being wanted. I hung with a group last weekend, and it was kind of awkward having lunch with them because they were all making plans for the summer around me, without including me, and it was like I was watching this elite group I can't be part of. I felt like an outsider. I just thought to myself, these people have been friends for years and years, and it's not me... I'm just new. As long as they keep planning things without me, I'll always be new. That made my not caring thing kicked in. Why should I care if these people want me around? It's not something I can control, so why sweat it? I'd like to fit in, and I put myself out there and try to talk to people, but if I don't fit in in the end, it's them not including me, not me holding myself back, and it's not like I don't have friends of my own. I just wanted to make more... It's hard being the new guy, and an outsider, and I don't normally put myself in situations like that for that reason. I'm proud of myself for how I was able to calm my insecurities myself. Stressing over shit like that just isn't worth it.

Work has been going great even though I've hard more time off than normal. This week I have over time, so it'll make up for the light week last week. I've been reading, and I've really been thinking a lot about picking my writing back up. To focus on my writing was one of the reasons I left GameStop. I've been kind of just living life and getting used to my new job. I move later this month, and I think after that I'm going to really make an effort to start writing regularly. It's what I want to do with my life.

I've been working out since January. I think this is the longest I've kept it up. My secret now is no weights. Having to go to the gym became a chore in the past, so this time I decided to try to pick up a work-out regimen I could do from home. I own an Iron Gym, which is basically just a bar I can hang from the door to do pull-ups. It has handles on it I can hold to do perfect push-ups. I also put the bar in the door to hold my feet in place for sit-ups. My work out is generally one of the following: 1) 25 push-ups, 35 sit-ups, 20 push-ups, 2) 10 pull-ups, 50 sit-ups, 5 pull-ups, or 3) 25 push-ups, 10 pull-ups. I run as well, but I don't have a schedule for it and just do it when I feel like it and have time for it. I'm starting to look really good, if I can say so myself.

Working out

I'm feeling more confident, more energetic, and just healthier.

I've considered going to the gym and starting weights, but I think I'm looking pretty good without the weights, and I know the weights will just burn me out. I want to look toned and show a little muscle under my shirt. I don't want to be huge like a body builder.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Murder By Numbers

99 Problems...

First off, I want to apologize for being a terrible DW/LJ friend. I have such loyal followers and friends who read my crap, and I have been falling so behind my friends list that I'm not returning the favor. I'm going to catch up soon, so prepare for belated comments that may be irrelevant at this point.

I copied a tweet I came across on Twitter a couple months ago:

I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.

This is hilarious because it's true. I've come to the realization that I need to lighten up. Not for the friends I've been a little too intense around at times, but for me. This is going to be tough, and I'm going to stumble and not be perfect right away, but this is something I desperately want to improve about myself. I put too much thought into things that don't deserve thinking about, and I worry, a lot of times for nothing. It weighs on me, and it weighs on my relationships.

I could blame this on my insecurities, and my past leaving me vulnerable, but why focus on how I got the problems I have? I'd rather focus on fixing them, or at least trying. I was talking to a friend tonight about my decision to lighten up, and he asked me if I've ever ran my friends off with my insecurities. I haven't as far as I know, but it's definitely a fear I have, and I never want to. Everyone has their own problems, their own issues, and their own insecurities, and I know I'm not unique in having mine -- my friends have issues of their own that I put up with like my friends put up with mine, because in the end good people are worth sticking around for. 

Still, I want to improve. If I ever stop bettering myself, I should stop living. I think we learn more about ourselves every single day, and become stronger as human beings because of our experiences and what we learn to deal with. Learning to lighten up isn't going to solve all of my problems or rid me of all of my insecurities, but it's my next personal project, and it's a great start in living happier.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

Giving Myself

You know, I'm not sure how I feel about Astrology. I'm a Christian, so I'd like to say I don't believe in it, but I am eerily a Pisces at heart. I'm imaginative, I'm sensitive, I'm compassionate, I'm idealistic, and I'm emotional. I give more of myself than people give me back.

Look at these problems Pisceans often have:

A strong sense of despair not shared by family and friends, thus leaving you with that all alone feeling.

Causing others to be quarrelsome or to walk out on you all together.

Freaky. I should stop reading this shit, lol.

One of my friends gave me some great advice this week. She said I should stop putting effort into relationships where that effort isn't returned. It's so simple, and it makes so much sense.

I'm not upset or anything right now, by the way. I just was feeling contemplative and wanted to write (read: think) this out.

I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day Weekend! I've been relaxing today. Played a whole bunch of Donkey Kong Country Returns, and slept. I've actually slept a lot. I need to quit being lazy and go do something. lol

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

ABC Meme

Stealing from Lori:

A - Age: 27
B - Bed size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: Washing dishes.
D - Dog's name: Huckleberry and Helo
E - Essential start to your day item(s): My full-body mirror, shower and teeth-brushing necessities, Axe body spray. (I'm one of those tools.)
F - Favorite color: Red
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5'7"
I - Instruments you play: Trumpet
J - Job Title: ASAP/Kompass Representative (Don't ask; it takes too long to explain.)
K - Kisses or hugs: Depends from whom. lol
L - Living arrangements: Apartment
M - Mood: Mostly optimistic! I get down occasionally, though.
N - Nicknames: Tood, Tim
O - Overnight hospital stays other than birth: I've stayed for some seizures.
P - Pet Peeves: Poor grammar, lying, cattiness.
Q - Quote from a movie:
"I don't even know you, and I despise you already." - Stab Casey, Scream 2
R - Right or left handed: I'm a leftie.
S - Siblings: Kenny, Justin, John, Jacob, Jeremy, Dylan, and Devin. Misty Renee (Deceased).
T - Time you wake up: 6:30-7 on work days, 7-8 on days off now. :(
U - Underwear: Boxers
V - Vegetable you dislike: Is that possible? I love veggies. Are beets a veggie? If so, beets.
W - Ways you run late: Losing track of time while checking e-mail/Facebook in the morning, pressing the snooze button too many times, stomach issues...
X - X-rays you've had: Wrist, teeth
Y - Yummy food you make: Broccoli Chicken Casserole is my absolute favorite.
Z - Zoo favorite: Elephants and Bears
This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

Returning Home

I started back at the Augusta Dillons today. That was the store I was the Kompass rep for three years ago. For the most part, returning was pretty good. There was this guy named David who is about my age and ahead of the Produce Department there. He left Dillons for some time and just returned himself. He told me he is happy I am back, which felt awesome. There is another guy named Brandon who is about my age too, who works there. He remembered me as well and smiled when I walked in the door. Brandon actually seems really awesome. I remember liking him the last time I was there, but I was too shy to initiate anything other than work conversation at the time. I'll have to remedy that this time.

Kathy, who is apparently Bitch #1 at Dillons to most people, was a sweetheart to me like she always has been. She didn't like a number of Kompass reps that were sent to that store (who all ultimately did not work out as a result) but was happy to see me and expressed how happy she is to finally have a good Kompass person again. I try to go above and beyond for stores to make their sections look perfect, because I want to make them look good, which makes me look good, and strengthens my relationship with them. Today, I changed every single shelf strip on the bread aisle, which was a pain in the ass -- a point my coworker made abundantly clear ALL DAY -- but several people commented on how much better the aisle looks, and Kathy said it's evident I care.

The new store manager was really the only negative part of my whole day. The store is between department heads for some reason, so I had to get him to check off my sets and help me with locating items I needed, and assisting with problems that arose, and he made it seem like it was the biggest annoyance to have to stop and help me. I'm sure it was, but damn, there was no one else, and he wouldn't let any of his sales associates sign off on anything. At one point he said jokingly, "So this is how it's going to be, huh, Todd?" when I had to get him to print a planogram for me... I told him when he gets department heads, I'll bother them instead. Still, I'm aggravated that he was annoyed.

Work is still amazing. My boss approved me for overtime this week, which I'll end up having to use to get two stores* done this week. I definitely could use the Overtime hours after my shitty hours last week.

*A Kompass rep is out with cancer, and I'm covering her store as well as mine until she gets back.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

Outing Myself

I made a new friend on my first day of work. His name is Jacob, and he's the grocery manager of the first store I visited this week. We've been texting back and forth, and after making plans to hang out, I wanted to let him know I'm gay, so there's not that awkward "oh yeah, I'm gay," moment later on. I always struggle when it comes to this, because I don't act gay, and people can't tell unless I tell them. I don't like advertising it, but I won't lie about it, so if someone asks or needs to know, I let them know. Me going to his house to play games alone with him? And then him adding me on Facebook, where he most assuredly will find out on his own?  I felt it was best if I told him. His reaction was awesome. And our conversation afterward:

 Dude, that's cool. Sexuality means nothing to me. Or my friends, so don't worry about that.

And when you do finally hang out with my group, which you will, let's be honest, you won't ever be judged.

Me: I'm... also a Power Ranger. And an Animorph.

Jacob: See, this is why you'd fit in so well with my friends. lol

Me: Lol, I am serious. Don't tell anyone. The yeerks will find me.

My new job is going amazingly well. I've visited two stores so far, and both stores had people asking me if I could be their Kompass rep, as they don't like their current one, and well, I'm awesome. ;) I have a really great work relationship with my boss, Brian, too, who has called me and asked me to do a couple last minute projects for him so far. I always do what Brian asks because he takes care of me, and I like being his right hand guy. He's the reason I'm even back at this job. I would still be at HellStop.

My last two weeks at GameStop were torture, and officially the slowest two weeks of my life, but I won't dwell on them; they're over now. I did let loose during my exit interview. The HR manager had a lot to type, lol. I figure even if I'm not there anymore, I want to better the working conditions for my friends who are still there, and my staff.

We've found two apartments we like so far. The one I'm leaning toward is $605 a month. I want to see if we can find one even cheaper, though, so we'll still look for a while.

Sorry for being a horrible DW/LJ friend lately. During my last two weeks at GameStop, I was kind of dead after work, so I haven't been reading/commenting/updating like I do. I will catch up soon.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

The Game Don't Stop

This entry is going to jump around a lot.

Shane and I visited this awesome apartment community today. I fell in love right away. We looked at a two-bedroom model with a fireplace, hardwood floors, and washer and dryer hook-ups. The place is only about $150 less than our current place, though, which is a town home with three floors. I'm looking to save a little more by moving. Dammit, it was so perfect, though. It even has a fenced dog park on property, where Helo and Huck would be able to run around without leashes. Back to looking, I guess. :(

I return back to work at HellStop tomorrow, where as Lori once wrote on my Facebook, the game don't stop, haha. So true. Just ten more days of this place. I can do it.

While I was on vacation, I redesigned my main domain, For those that haven't known me as long, I build websites. Nightbringer is my home on the web and houses all of the sites I run -- several Final Fantasy tributes, something to a character from Chrono Trigger, a fansite to Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog, a tribute to a manga character, and a Drew Barrymore fansite. I'm a dork. Anyway, I tried something different and created a layout for every page. I'm pretty proud of it.

Continuing my Final Fantasy theme countdown, my seventh favorite song is...

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This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.
Amassment Mod

Pee Shy

TMI: I have to take a drug test today. I've taken them before, and I always hate them. I'm pee shy. That means I can't pee when I know someone else is in the room with me. I'm not sure how I got this condition. It's just something I have always had. Public restrooms are nightmares for me. I can use some, but it has to be almost empty, and stalls have to be available. Anyway, I have to pee in a cup, with no water running, and no flushing the toilet after, knowing a woman (or I guess they could give me a man this time) is standing outside the door waiting to collect this disgusting sample. I'm going to have trouble going, and when I finally am able to go, I'm going to have to go too much, which means I'll have to use the toilet I can't flush, and someone will have to inspect it later.

It's so weird because I have no problem being naked in front of others (a doctor or otherwise), or even having sex for that matter, but I have a problem peeing in front of people. I'll get through it like I always do, but it's nerve wracking. My plan is to drink a lot of water in about an hour, and go at 3:00 when I know I'll have to pee, and then I won't care who is listening or watching. That plan only backfired on me once when they couldn't take me right away, and I had to wait in the lobby, having to pee really badly.

I have two more days of vacation after today, and I'm dreading going back. I think that I'm spending my vacation thinking about how much time I have left before I have to go back to work, and how much I really, really don't want to go back is evidence I am ready to move on. I am putting my notice in when I get back Friday, and will work two more weeks. Acosta has me starting online training and orientation on the 8th, when I'll still be working my notice, and starting in stores on the 15th, after my notice. They have been really cool about my needs in this transition.

I'm nervous about giving the notice, too. I think I'm just going to say my heart is no longer in this, and when I can't give 100% of myself, I need to move on cause it's the right thing to do. I will draft a letter to send to my DM and Human Resources on my last day with all of the issues I had, and things I think they should improve on to better working conditions for their employees. I don't plan to get into those things during my last two weeks of work because that would be uncomfortable for me, and they may decide to cut me before I'm ready to go (which is not a terribly bad thing, as Acosta wants to start me ASAP and are just holding off for me).

Number 8 in my Final Fantasy theme countdown is...

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Speaking of which, who is excited for the PS Vita/PS3 remake?! I hear they are including FFX-2 in the package now.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.